Content creator Murugi Munyi has reflected on overcoming people-pleasing behaviour in a video shared on Thursday, November 12, 2026, explaining how she is learning to express what she wants without feeling she is inconveniencing others.
She described herself as a “chronic people pleaser”, adding that she has made progress and now considers herself “mini to moderate”.
Learning to state her preferences
She said she previously told people she was comfortable with anything, even when she had a preference.
“I would say often, even when I’m asked to pick or choose a preference, I would always say, ‘Oh, I’m not picky. I can go with any,’ even when I did have a preference,” she explained.
Munyi shared an example from booking a tennis lesson in Johannesburg. A tennis academy asked on WhatsApp whether she preferred a male or female coach.
Changing her mindset
She initially typed that she did not mind, but reconsidered. She realised she preferred a female coach, especially when working with people she did not know.
“I deleted the message and I wrote, ‘I’d prefer a female coach, thank you,’” she said.
The academy agreed, prompting her to question why she had spent years hiding her preferences.
Munyi linked the habit to believing that expressing personal needs could inconvenience others.
“Your preferences or expressing what you want or what you need in a situation is an inconvenience to others, but it literally is not,” she said.
A lesson in self-expression
She noted that the academy had asked about her preference, so she did not need to assume that stating it would cause a problem. She also pointed out that she was paying thousands of shillings for the lesson and could request the arrangement she wanted.
“I do have a preference. I just had an issue expressing that preference,” Munyi said.
She encouraged herself to be more direct, concluding: “Just say what you want. Just say what you want, Mugugi, okay?”
Her experience highlights how expressing preferences can be a step towards confidence and away from people-pleasing.
