Media personality Muthoni wa Mukiri has stirred up a fresh debate after sharing her candid views on how women should approach dating before making the decision to settle down.
The clip, filmed in a podcast-style indoor setting complete with a visible microphone, potted plants and warm ambient lighting, showed Muthoni speaking in a relaxed, humorous tone.
An on-screen caption reading “Date many and choose one,” accompanied by laughing emojis, set the mood for what followed.
“So dating is supposed to be fun, yes? And how do you make it fun? By dating multiple men before committing,” she said, kicking off what would turn out to be a widely-shared piece of advice.
The mistake women make when they meet someone new
Muthoni zeroed in on a pattern she says many women fall into, including herself in the past. She described how women tend to mentally fast-track a man to marriage status after a single encounter, before they have had any real chance to understand who he is.
“You see, like when you meet the problem, one of the problems ladies make, and I used to make this mistake, when you meet a guy and then you think he’s tall, he’s what I want, he has vibes, check, check, check, check, check, yeah, check, check, and and then you automatically decide I want this guy, this guy has to, I want to date this, I have to marry this guy, I have to, but you’ve just seen him. You’ve not known him and his values,” she said.
According to Muthoni, that premature emotional investment is what causes women to spiral when a man becomes distant.
“And now that can cloud your judgment. And then now, if he starts going silent on you, you’re there, so upsetting your house, why is he not calling me? Why has he not accepted me? And then you’re there sending paragraphs,” she added.
Keep your options open until one stands out
Her solution is straightforward: go on dates with several men simultaneously and only redirect your focus once one proves himself through consistency.
“So that’s three of them. If Mark from church is asked for your number and wants to take you for dinner, go to dinner with Mark. Jonathan from Zew, where he also wants to go for a move with Jonathan. Until now, you see this one is more consistent. This one we align more. So let me give my attention to Jonathan,” she concluded.
The clip has since divided opinion, with one camp of women agreeing that dating around is a healthy way to avoid desperation and clouded judgement, while critics argue that the approach breeds emotional unavailability and a lack of genuine commitment.
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