Marriage is a life milestone for many men and women. For some, it is an achievement if they come from a family line that had short-lived relationships and marriages but they managed to break that ‘generational curse’. To others, whether marriage happens to them or not, life goes on.
But to those who are looking forward to walking down the aisle in a big white wedding, a Kenyan man on TikTok by the name of Steve Wise Man, had advice for single ladies vetting their potential husbands.
He was of the opinion that “men should be really ready before they marry” and single ladies should be careful in knowing “how capable the men they want to spend the rest of their lives are going to take care of them.”
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“Ladies, from today, do not allow any man to marry you before they present to you the following documents. Very important.
Number one on the list is the Good Conduct Certificate from the Directorate of Criminal Investigations in Kiambu.
Number two a certificate from a renowned college. That is a diploma, a degree, or a Ph.D. and above.
Number 3 is a title deed.
Number 4, one-year bank statements to show that he has been working.
Number 5, pay slips. Number 6, appointment letter- the contract that he signed when starting that job. If he does not live in his own house, receipts show that he has been paying rent in a two-bedroomed house.”
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The TikToker pointed out that for the ladies, it’s important to keep an eye out for these signs, ensuring you’re not entering a relationship with someone financially dependent. Seek a partner who will provide and support you.
Historically, our grandfathers would secure a piece of land and a few cows for their sons in rural Kenya. This established a foundation for the sons to build upon, cultivate the land, and care for their loved ones.
“But in the world of today, where there is no land or people are city dwellers, he has to show you all those things. His capability because that is almost like his land. Very important. Do not overlook because some of us men, we are not ready to take care of our affairs and issues in marriage. We are turning people’s daughters into – it is unimaginable. You wake up in the morning, you don’t have anything and so you expect your wife to pay rent and for everything else, to feed the family and stuff like that. So men we should really be prepared. This is not even something to argue about and abuse me in my inbox. We have to psyche and hype ourselves that we have to be the prize. We have to be worth the prize,” said Mr Steve.
Nairobi News also advises single women to ask for clearance certificates from the Credit Reference Bureau to know the man’s financial creditworthiness.
A woman can discern whether a man is struggling financially, potentially burdening her with debts under the guise of spousal support, or if he is financially secure and capable of undertaking ventures that would contribute positively to their marriage and future family.