Media personality Ciru Muriuki has shared why many women struggle to succeed when they follow society’s expectations.
Speaking in an Instagram video on Saturday, February 7, 2026, she said women are often told that being well-behaved and agreeable will bring rewards, but that is a lie.
“We’ve been sold lies our whole lives,” she said. “We’ve been told that if we are well-behaved, polite, and agreeable, the patriarchy will reward us. That is not true. It doesn’t always work that way.” Ciru explained that she has seen many women follow these rules and still struggle to achieve their goals.
Ciru pointed out that the women who succeed are often audacious, bold, and unafraid to challenge norms. “The women I see getting what they want are often the ones who refuse to be mannerly. Don’t wait for permission, be disagreeable if you must, and act boldly,” she said.
She stressed that boldness does not mean being reckless, but trusting your instincts, taking initiative, and stepping up even when it goes against what others expect.
Bitter myths
Ciru also addressed the stereotype that older, unmarried women are bitter. “People say women get bitter if they are older and not married. But the truth is, we’re angry because we’ve seen the lies we’ve been told all our lives,” she said.
“The scales have fallen from our eyes, and we see the system for what it really is.” She emphasised that this anger is not bitterness, but awareness, a recognition that society misleads women about how success and fulfilment are supposed to come
Ciru urged women to take control of their lives and embrace courage and determination over politeness. “Stop asking for permission. Be bold, be unapologetic, and take your life into your own hands,” she said.
She encouraged women to trust themselves, act with confidence, and refuse to let societal pressure dictate their paths. According to Ciru, audacity and self-belief are what allow women to achieve their goals, not compliance or agreeableness.
