Nairobi Woman Representative Esther Passaris has said women are not the problem in modern relationships and that both partners share the duty to keep love going.
During an interview on a local TV station on Wednesday, February 25, 2026, she answered the question of whether women are the problem by saying, “I think it takes two to tangle; both the woman and the man have the responsibility to sustain the relationship.”
She said the issue is not women but how some men react to women who are strong and able to stand on their own.
She added, “I don’t think the problem is the woman. The problem is the empowered woman that a man cannot entertain.”
Esther Passaris said some men do not want to see a woman who can take care of herself.
She said, “Men don’t want to see a woman who can buy her own clothes.”
She used Miley Cyrus’ song to explain the point and said, “There is that song ‘I can buy myself flowers’ and men don’t wanna see that.”
Esther Passaris also linked the issue to the cost of living and the daily pressure on couples.
She said, “The thing is, life is becoming expensive.”
She explained that both partners feel the pressure, and this can affect how they deal with each other. She said women should also think about how men feel in these situations and how pride can affect choices.
Talking about roles and agreements in relationships
She said, “Also, the woman has to understand the man’s ego.”
Esther Passaris said that talking about roles in a relationship is important so that both sides know what to expect. She said couples should talk about what each person will do when things are hard.
Passaris said people should agree on daily matters instead of keeping quiet, and added that couples should make agreements early.
Esther Passaris gave an example of how culture can shape roles in a home.
She said, “When you meet a man, and you marry him, he might be a Nandi man, who will never go into the kitchen.”
She said couples should agree on what will happen when one is not well and said, “So you have to have an agreement, look, when I am sick, are you going to take me to my mom or are you going to cook for me?”
