Lilian Akinyi, a Kisumu woman who grew up in a children’s home, opened up about how she invested heavily in her partner’s life over seven years, only to lose nearly everything after he allegedly cheated on her with a younger woman.
Speaking on TUKO Talks, Lilian described a relationship where she was the financial backbone from start to finish.
She enrolled her partner in driving school, bought him a Nissan Tiida, and purchased two motorbikes as an expression of her love for him.
Valentine’s Day trip to Mombasa
She also constructed a three-bedroom house for his mother in Kisumu, complete with a fence, gate, toilet, and livestock including 50 chickens, two sheep and two goats.
The emotional low point of her account came during a Valentine’s Day trip to Mombasa in February 2021, for which she spent KSh 150,000 over four nights. During a shopping trip, she bought a flower herself and handed it to him, asking him to present it to her the following day as a surprise.
Lilian buys flower in Mombasa, gives lover
“I bought him a flower and I told him, give it to me on Valentine’s. Don’t show me today, but tomorrow you can give it to me,” she said.
He never gave it back. His reason: he could not gift her something she had bought herself.
She never received a flower or even a KSh 200 chocolate from him throughout their entire relationship.
Lilian finds message in lover’s phone
On that same Mombasa trip, a woman called his phone during the night. He spoke in a noticeably warm tone, and later told Lilian the caller was simply a YouTube fan.
However, on the journey back to the airport, Lilian spotted a woman’s photo saved on his phone, which did not sit well with Lilian.
Back in Kisumu, Lilian found a message on his phone that confirmed her suspicions. She confronted him, and he reportedly broke down and apologised.
Lilian flies back to Nairobi
His mother arrived shortly after and, offering comfort, told Lilian that the money she spent building the family home could have gone drmuct buying her own brother a piece of land.
“You see this money that you keep wasting and building me a home, you could have bought your brother a land,” the mother told her.
Lilian flew back to Nairobi with her daughter and a single suitcase, leaving behind furniture for him to use.
Lilian sells one of lover’s motorbikes
She later sold one of the motorbikes she had bought, recovering only KSh 40,000 of the KSh 120,000 she had originally paid.
In the years that followed, she sold household items to pay rent and school fees, saw her daughter sent home repeatedly over unpaid fees, and lost access to her YouTube channel after her phone was stolen.
Her message to other women was direct:
“When you have money as a woman, take care of yourself first, because the moment a guy leaves, and you are investing in that guy, he doesn’t look back.”
What is the foundation of a good relationship?
TUKO reached out to a relationship expert, Jane Murimi Mugo, to share her insights on the increasing trend of failed relationships and marriages in society.
“It is really alarming to see how romantic relationships and marriages are breaking. There is a lot of pressure in the world because of how tough life has become. There is social media pressure, work pressure, peer pressure, among others. In a case like Lilian’s, I think people need to go back to the drawing board and learn the foundations of a stable relationship.
At the top of the list should be communication. Lilian seemed to be doing so much to prove her love for her lover and her in-laws, which did not end well. I even criticise her a bit for almost being the man by providing and doing so much. It is not bad to appreciate your spouse, but it seemed to me she was buying his love by going out of her way,” she said.
Can breakup cause mental health issues?
Psychologist Njeri Ndaru noted the emotional damage and trauma Lilian and her daughter would be going through following the breakup.
“Of course, for Lilian, it is different from what her daughter would feel. For Lilian, it is that betrayal and feeling of not being more than enough despite all she has done. For her daughter, she would be broken because of her mother’s brokenness. She would probably inherit some resentment from men saying they are the reason for her family’s suffering. It is important to protect your mental state, for yourself and your children. You can never underestimate the power of betrayal,” she told TUKO.
