Nick Cannon has opened up about his insecurities during his marriage to Mariah Carey.
He spoke during a recent appearance on the Ray Daniels Presents podcast.
Nick Cannon said he knew that people were thinking of him as “the kid from Nickelodeon is with Mariah Carey?”
“Psychologically, that started fucking with me,” Cannon revealed.
As a child star, Nick Cannon was an avowed fan of Carey, who is 11 years his senior. They sparked romance rumors in 2008 when Cannon starred in the singer’s “Bye Bye” music video. He was 27 at the time, while she just turned 39.
Shortly after the video’s release, the couple secretly got married. They welcomed twins, Moroccan and Monroe, in 2011 and announced their divorce in 2014.
Despite their age gap and whirlwind engagement, Cannon told Daniels that he didn’t care what the world thought of their relationship, but he struggled with his own internalized stereotypes about “manhood” and gender roles.
“I got married in my 20s still, to the biggest star in the world. My trajectory was here, and then hers — she’s already in a different stratosphere,” Cannon said.
“I would lay up at night, thinking, like, ‘Is this who I am? Am I Mariah’s man? Is that what my life is supposed to be?'”
Cannon admitted that he grew accustomed to a lavish lifestyle while being married to Carey.
“There’s nothing wrong with it. And I got really comfortable in it. She’s got islands. I’m waking up at noon, people bringing me steaks on a platter,” he said with a laugh.
Nick, who wed Mariah in 2008, admitted that he lost his “hustler” spirit and things really were put into perspective with the couple welcomed their now 13-year-old twins Monroe Cannon and Moroccan Cannon.
Nick said that once Carey gave birth to their children, his role in the family “hierarchy” exacerbated his insecurities.
“Then when you have children and the hierarchy of man s**t is like ‘Wait, I’m carrying a purse, the diaper bag. I’m standing on the corner waiting,'” he recalled.
“She’s rocking being the alpha that she is. And I believe she needs a dude like that. I’m just not that dude.”
Cannon praised Carey for being “understanding” and “evolved,” even while he was struggling with his identity and career.
In 2009, The New York Times reported that Cannon was due to release an album with Island Def Jam, Carey’s label at the time.
That album never materialized, and Cannon told Daniels he was worried the label was only interested in him because of his wife’s massive sales.
He said that while he loved Mariah and was happy to have someone who wasn’t after him for his money, he saw himself as a main character.
He said: “And the love kept me there because I was like, ‘You need somebody. You need a support system. You need somebody that don’t want you for your money. You need somebody that’s sincere. You need somebody that’s ready to build a family, raise some amazing kids together.’ And that was my goal. But then there was something constantly in me like…”
He admitted that she stood by him through his health struggles.
However his insecurities bled into his professional life as he began to question whether his role as a chairman at Nickelodeon and at Island Def Jam were because of his wife’s connections.
“I was wearing suits everyday cause I’m trying to prove that I’m a man,” Nick said. “The inner adolescent in me, I’m trying to prove that I’m a man because I’m standing next to a woman.”
“That’s the thing, when someone has their own world, their own scope, their own bubble, and you gotta be a participant in that — I’m main character!” he added.
“I was getting mad at myself. It was like muscle atrophy,” Cannon continued. “I’m not being the dude that God put me on this earth to be.”
In the end, Nick—who has been public with his decades-long battle with Lupus—says that his health battle put things into perspective when he realized, “I have so much to do.”
As a result, he joked, “That’s probably why I have 12 kids now.”
Cannon has said he was already a millionaire by his early 20s. The year after his wedding, he was appointed the honorary chairman and development consultant for TeenNick and launched his own production company, NCredible.
He has gone on to host shows like VH1’s “Wild ‘n Out” and Fox’s “The Masked Singer.” Today, the 44-year-old Cannon’s entertainment empire reportedly generates about $100 million a year.
Meanwhile, Carey, 55, is one of the best-selling recording artists of all time and the top-performing female soloist in Billboard history. She has 19 No. 1 songs, more than any other woman and second only to The Beatles.
Nick Cannon is not the only man who has admitted to being jealous of his wife’s financial status.
According to “The Love Gap” by journalist Jenna Birch, there is a modern trend of straight men who claim to want partners who are intelligent, ambitious, and successful, yet decline to pursue women who demonstrate those qualities.
Watch Nick speak on the video below.
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