The Roaming Chef, real name Dennis Ombachi, has sent millennials spiralling into nostalgia with a hilariously accurate recreation of the boarding school meals that defined their teenage years.
Posted on Tuesday, September 29, the Instagram reel frames the whole exercise as a millennial secret worth guarding, opening with the question:
“Have you ever wondered why millennials look younger than you?”
How did Roaming Chef cook ugali sukuma?
Filmed outdoors on a high-rise balcony overlooking a city skyline, the video follows a mock-serious cooking tutorial format.
The chef roughly chops sukuma wiki before tossing it into a preheated pot, making sure the bottom layer scorches before the greens are even done.
He describes this as the high school cook’s method for achieving what he calls an “authentic smoky vegan barbecue flavour.”
The ugali gets equally brutal treatment. Maize meal goes into boiling water and is stirred vigorously.
The goal, he explains with a straight face, is to “somehow overcook the ugali while simultaneously undercooking it, a culinary contradiction perfected by high school chefs.”
He also revisits the boarding school tradition of skipping the washing step entirely, pointing out that efficiency dictated that you could “wash, cook and clean at the same time, in the same pot, using the same water.”
The chef admitted his motivation was partly parental strategy.
His son had been pushing to attend boarding school, and the video was his attempt at what he called “transferring generational trauma, hoping fear succeeds where parenting failed.”
The plan backfired spectacularly.
After tasting the finished dish, his son pronounced it genuinely good, adding a cheeky dig at his father’s generation:
“You millennials, you don’t look young because of the food you ate. You are just malnourished and stopped growing.”
The comment section filled quickly with Kenyans reliving their own boarding school scars.
@just_ivy_africa_:
“Undercooking the Ugali while simultaneously overcooking it. I am triggered.”
@i_amkabugi:
“Top layer is still the deal.”
@djkrowbar:
“Trauma.”
@sir_homes:
“Now boil githeri with a pinch of weevils for that extra protein.”
